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give me my flowers while I am still here

by millie DREAD

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    Due to printing constraints, some colors on the CD/booklet may be slightly different than the photos. And because the booklet and CD prints are handmade, there may be minor imperfections.

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1.
I’ll face my God and question why This awful lie She always told That sun will shine and day will come To lift myself out of the cold She meant for me to be in pain She wanted to drive me insane She intended me to try in vain She led me to become Her bane For what? To bend me to Her will? For what? To break me ‘fore the dawn? A virtue will defiance make? I’d soon destruct than be Her pawn So I will pull and rip my hair I will shred my skin and bleed I will crack my bones in two So I may feel the warmth it brings I’m not afraid to go alone I’m not afraid to see Hell twice I’m not afraid to burn myself And I am not afraid to die.
2.
demon core 04:23
The words you say Radiate so softly To penetrate Into my body But it’s your grave mistake Because inside me Lay the power of decay My cursed mind And its destructive wrath Exacerbate the signs To make critical mass Now it melts like ice And hits you like a gas This chain reaction I seep inside Into your marrow Are you afraid to die? For you’ve no place to go Now the time is nigh Do you feel hollow? Meet the demon core My lovely, little precious thing The two of us were never meant to be My lovely, little precious thing The two of us were never meant to be My lovely, little precious thing The two of us were never meant to be My lovely, little precious thing Oh, you and I were never meant to be
3.
Persephone 03:35
Persephone is dead And I have taken up her stead Once on earth, fell into Hell Like coins into a wishing well A curse from Hades, punish me And send me into agony An ending will this tale unfurl? Return me from the underworld, Persephone I have seen things you would not believe Could have happened to me For I have tasted the seeds Containing darkness and longevity The price I pay for immortality A lonely life I never asked to lead Now I cry my desperate plea: Oh, why! Why did you forever abandon me, Persephone? An outsider no matter where For I am neither here nor there I watch the living pass me by And fail to find the reasons why For your soul I search the river Styx I regret you I could not fix A way out I just cannot see Save for giving in like you, to cease to be, Persephone A tone—it rings just like a bell And suddenly has ceased the spell Back on earth, I see the good And breathe the air just like I should But it’s tainted by impending doom My promise, return to gloom I’ll always be caught between Ever since I failed to save you, Persephone
4.
"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion; I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die."
5.
aguántate 05:11
Si tendré que aguantarlo, por siempre, pa’ siempre Sin decirlo, sin expresar, sin tener voz para hablarlo Los dolores van a seguir por destruyéndome; pues ya tienen Todo el poder y mi aguante ya ha huido El problema es que toda mi vida no he entendido La razón por la que me dejan asustada y a solas Pues la soledad me hace convertir en una loca Y sabiendo esto me vuelven una maldita bruja ¡Aguántate! Tú, la que no sabe nadar ¡Aguántate! Tú, la que no puede respirar ¡Aguántate! Tú, a la que le dejaron a ahogarse Princesa mimada, no grites, “¡socorro!” ¡Aguántate, ‘te, ‘te! La ira que yo guardo dentro mi gris corazón acecha Pues por años ha crecido y ya se impaciente Y la luz de la erupción os va a dejar en asombro Pues con aguante la he escondido y con aguante os he aplacado ¿Te sorprende que lo más insidioso de la locura Es que a veces ilumina y a veces engendra la futura? Pues las voces dentro de mi dicen que no os importo nada Y la cosa es que este miedo vive en la evidencia ¡Aguántate! Tú, la que no sabe nadar ¡Aguántate! Tú, la que no puede respirar ¡Aguántate! Tú, a la que le dejaron a ahogarse Princesa mimada, no grites, “¡socorro!” ¡Aguántate, ‘te, ‘te! ¡Aguántate! Tú, la que no sabe nadar ¡Aguántate! Tú, la que no puede respirar ¡Aguántate! Tú, a la que le dejaron a ahogarse Princesa mimada, no grites, “¡socorro!” ¡Aguántate, ‘te, ‘te! Cuándo me miras a mi, ¿cuál es que ves en mi interior? ¿Una chica incomprendida o un inminente cataclismo? Por que te espero a ti, y ya que te quedas allí Y ya lo único que aguantaréis es que me calle por fin ¡Aguántate! Tú, la que no sabe nadar ¡Aguántate! Tú, la que no puede respirar ¡Aguántate! Tú, a la que le dejaron a ahogarse Princesa mimada, no grites, “¡socorro!” ¡Aguántate, ‘te, ‘te! ¡Aguántate! Tú, la que no sabe nadar ¡Aguántate! Tú, la que no puede respirar ¡Aguántate! Tú, a la que le dejaron a ahogarse Princesa mimada, no grites, “¡socorro!” ¡Aguántate, ‘te, ‘te!
6.
I think that they must all have laughed When they cut my brain in half Knife in hands, my mouth aghast For years and years, as they passed But something’s wrong, something’s broke I’ve come to smell the stench of mold And feel an ache in every bone Now I seek to be alone So why not fix me up a bowl of pot To try and make all Feeling stop One day they will suspect a clot To find there’s been a bit of rot The maggots in my head, they know Because they made the putrid growth The insanity they drove their host To tie her noose up to a post But damned flies! They come in waves Out of the eye where Reason lay And at this level of decay I think Reason’s mostly gone away.
7.
cowboy noose 04:09
I tied this lasso to pull you inside But your heart doesn’t want mine Not because you don’t want me The love you give will never set me free I’ll love you 'til I die I’ll love you 'til I die I’ll love you 'til I die I fear you’ll be the reason why I tie my cowboy noose I never meant to hurt you I tie my cowboy noose I’d almost rather that I lose you I showed you my everything Even the black void inside And you didn’t turn away You pulled closer into my sigh I’ll love you 'til I die I’ll love you 'til I die I’ll love you 'til I die I fear you’ll be the reason why I tie my cowboy noose I never meant to hurt you I tie my cowboy noose I’d almost rather that I lose you I tie my cowboy noose As you tell me don’t you cry I tie my cowboy noose I smile while I’m dead inside And I know you’d be the one To tell me to come off that ledge But I'd rather you hated me And tell me I’m better off dead Untie my cowboy noose Untie my cowboy noose Untie my cowboy noose Untie my cowboy noose Untie my cowboy noose Untie my cowboy noose Untie my cowboy noose I will always love you Yee haw!
8.
the tower 04:06
Three Two One I looked at you and then I fell From seven stories high My eyes rolled back as something snapped At last I’d learn to fly Then heat spilled ‘cross a crimson screen And flowed down, down to my lips My tongue tasted the salt of sea The ocean mixed with spit While gravity had made its plunge I hurled from watchful arms Rejoiced, raced down by those who passed Three seconds ‘til I drowned (at last!) And then my bones made one with earth And cracked into the ground A gasp, a grin, my skull caved in And then you heard the sound At once my screams ripped through the air Just whispers reached the sky But from the clouds poured down below The remnants of my cries Then galaxies formed in my head The black striped bright with white A thousand stars born in my eyes Void filled with lantern lights

credits

released January 13, 2024

Written, produced, and performed by Hannah RB.

Cover artwork by Courtney Mae Smith | @baby.flea

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millie DREAD Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Sad-girl spoken-word poetry and melancholic darkwave inspired by synth-pop, industrial, and video-game music.

Hannah RB is millie DREAD.

Banner and background photos by Sofia Wiseley.
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